The right way to ask for a favor

The need of being liked by others is still omnipresent. A simple google search will give you thousands of books, self-development guides, videos, podcasts on this, and a lot of people are still talking about the "asking for a favor" approach which has been around for decades now. But is it really a foolproof way to make other people like you?

Despite all the hypes around it, my experiences have shown the opposite in most of the cases. Instead of liking someone, I could easily dislike people because of their blatant disrespect of my private life or my work life.  There are just so many hidden prerequisites of "asking for a favor" that we need to be aware of. Unfortunately, not a lot of people are doing it right. 

In many cases, the notion of asking people to help is good for the relationship has become an excuse for their own laziness. And that's exactly what makes me despise them even more. We all need to at least try to solve our own problems before asking for help. But a lot of people seem to be incapable of making any serious efforts to get their life under control. Nobody is responsible for cleaning up anybody's mass as adults. We urgently need to make clear the hidden prerequisites of "asking for a favor to make you liked".

First, before asking for help, we need to try to solve the problem ourselves. Not necessarily exhausting everything that we can do, but at least try and be responsible for our own problem. I don't think people who don't take responsibility of their own problem can have others willing to help them out. 

Second, the favor that we ask others need to be within their comfort zone. By comfort zone, I mean the favor should not affect others' private or work life. If others are not comfortable to let people stay at their place for over one week, then we shouldn't ask to stay for more than one week. If others have already a lot to do at work, then we shouldn't ask them for a lot of time to help. 

Third, ask nicely please. Don't come down to others with a "for granted" attitude when asking for a favor. It's just unbelievable how people could ignore this when asking for help. 

The favor can be called a favor because it is a small help. It does not require a lot of efforts or time or resources of others. It does not affect others' life. It is something that others can do very easily. And it starts with a "could you please".